Zack Snyder’s Justice League: The Trailer Dipped in Coffee

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When I first saw the new Justice League trailer on trending, I refused to believe that Warner Bros. had that much bravery. Considering that the first Justice League was received about as well as a cancer diagnosis by the general public, I couldn’t think of why they’d want to sully their hands with another one, but after a long 7 seconds of thinking not very hard at all, I think I might have a theory.

Warner Bros., as it turns out, are a bunch of masochists; they’ve slapped the name Justice League on a property, despite the name now being about as welcome in most people’s houses as a velociraptor, and the new villain even looks a bit like Steppenwolf. Speaking of villains, I said that it looks like Steppenwolf, not only because he, she or it actually does, or maybe is, but because I dare you to think of something else it could possibly be. We got no information from the trailer as to his identity, I might as well have just stuck my head in a bucket of very boring coloured Lego for all it mattered.

Which brings me to my next point, why is the colour scheme so fucked? I’m not just referring to the Gears of War kind of fucked in which it actually looks deliberate, and natural, if boring. This thing looks like it was dipped in tea, and it gets very distracting. Doesn’t seem to be much of a big threat established either, just a load of bombastic colours, and noise. We got something about dreams, a voiceover from Lex Luthor, and a bit with Joker at the end. Not much of anything established to be fair, I had genuine difficulty deciphering what I was seeing, and I couldn’t remember half of what I had seen. Even when I did look it up again it all blurred together, and that doesn’t bode well for the plot which they didn’t even attempt to establish.

I mentioned that the name Justice League was about as welcome in most houses as a strange man trying to push a razor blade up your urethra, or something along those lines, but then I realised that that makes it ideal. Why, because more people will buy it, either because they genuinely want to watch Transformers: Brown Edition, or because they want to laugh at it with their friends. This may seem like a trivial thing, but I think it points to a depressing unoriginality in films; you can’t just come up with anything new these days, you have to slot it into an established name brand because these Hollywood productions have so much fucking money riding on them they can’t afford to take risks. Can’t we just have something that isn’t unoriginal? Please.

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1 thought on “Zack Snyder’s Justice League: The Trailer Dipped in Coffee”

  1. Wow… somebody is having a bad day! This article has absolutely no objective facts to draw a little bit of credibility from… the author fails to make a point and only proceeds to ask questions juvenile in its nature… is it just plain ignorance of the project or cynicism, i wonder? But 10 points for the “blade in urethra” metaphor though!

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